Hello, my warriors!
So, this morning I was doing my devotion and came across some beautiful scripture. I have been going through Psalm for my daily devotion time, and today I read through Psalm 18. At first glance, I thought it seemed somewhat of a daunting task. It is a fairly long Psalms compared to previous ones, but it is more than worth the read. The imagery in it is stunning. There is a true feeling of hope in Christ. It gives the vision of a God who is angry over our suffering. A God that controls nature and has the power to bring us from our sin.
“He reached down from heaven and took hold of me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy.” Psalm 18:16-17
This scripture shows a God that is so loving and wonderful, that he comes down from heaven to pick us up. He reaches for us, his children, and he saves us from our enemies. Whenever I read scripture, my enemy that I associate with is my eating disorder. Every time I read through the Bible I remember that my God can and will save me. But, I have to be patient, I have to follow his direction for my life.
For so long I struggled with my ED, and I felt stuck. I believed that God could not save me, I doubted his strength. God was faithful to me. When I began to call out to him and plea to him for deliverance he heard me. He was listening to me the whole time. Even when it felt like I was calling out to nothing, he was there. With time I began to feel him working through me. I felt him give me the strength to slowly make a change. “He clothes me with strength and makes my way perfect” (Psalm 18:32).
I have learned that He is the only thing I can fully trust in. When people of the world fail me when I feel so alone and feel hopeless, I can reach out to him and he will listen. I urge you not give up hope. I know how it feels to wait years for an answer. To feel like God is not listening and that you will forever be stuck in pain. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There is a truth that will never fail you, and it is that God is here. He will give you the strength to face your demons.
What I had to first realize was that I had demons. I had to disassociate myself with ED, and associate ED with evil. Because that is what it truly is. My eating disorder had one goal only: to kill me. As I slowly began to realize that if I kept doing what I was doing Satan would win. I gave him power over me. I let him dictate me. I gave him Gods most precious gift to us: our bodies. I do not take that lightly. God gave me a beautiful body. And I have to love it every day.
Questions to ask yourself:
- Do I have anything holding me back from God? If so, what is it?
- Am I allowing my demons to rule me? Is my eating disorder controlling me?
My instructions for you, right now:
- Go get a sticky note or a sheet of paper and tape.
- Write down: I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am beautiful inside and out. God, let your light shine through me.
- Now go stick that on the mirror you look into the most.
- Read it everytime you look into the mirror. Even if you feel confident, or if it is your worst body image day yet. Remeber His truth about you.
I hope you have a fantastic day and that you take time today to thank God for your body and soul. Thank him for his blessings to you, even if they seem tiny. I believe you have the power to tackle your sins and demons, all you need is to lean on God and he will strengthen you.