Heya, warriors! So, today feels wonderful outside. It actually feels like winter outside and I am pumped for the cold weather. I am so excited to get finals over with next week and relax some during Christmas break. I can not wait for Christmas, it is my favorite time of the year.
But, todays post is another one in cautious recover (check out the ones I have written already) and I am talking about relationships in recover. Not just boy/girlfriend (couples) but also your friendships and family relationships. Everyone you talk to has a part in your recovery. Certain people are toxic for your health and recovery. You have to find the intuition to realize who is good for you, and who is bad for you.
And you may love those people who are toxic for you mentally and physically. It is hard to get “rid” of people who aren’t helping you get better. People who aren’t internally trying to hurt you, but through their own actions and words you deep down know that it is feeding into your ED.
This is such a hard step in your recovery, but a crucial one. You have to take the time to figure out if you need to find new friends. People who aren’t obsessed with what they eat and their bodies. Find people who aren’t mean and hard on themselves.
I struggled with this, because my best friend had disordered eating and I loved her so much and loved our friendship, but at the same time every time we were together we fed off of each others disorders. We were bad for each other, and through my own recovery I wanted to help her, but knew if I confronted her should would not be accepting of the truth I saw. It is difficult to help someone who does not want help. When at the same time I knew if I tried to restart the friendship, I was in danger of falling back into disordered habits.
Even if our friends or our significant other is not directly trying to harm us and feed into our ED, they still could be indirectly. Even then, you still have to either confront them and ask them to not say or do certain things around you, or instead find new friends and take a break from those relationships until you can get to a point where you are in a spot where what they do and say will not negatively affect you (which may be never).
There are so many people out there who have positive outlooks on life, people who can help you in your recovery and make you feel better about yourself. I encourage you to look for those people, find people who you have things in common, who make you happier.
Even if youre in a relationship, you may need to take a break if you are not ready to tell them about your ED. It is okay to leave people. You are allowed to take care of yourself.
I choose me over other people. For the first time, I truly decided to take care of myself. I decided to enter into a relationship with myself and to love myself. I needed to get away from people who said or did things that made me want to go back to my disordered habits. I had to clear my life of people who did not love me as much as I needed to love myself.
I had to get rid of people who could not love themselves either. It will change you life when you surround yourself with people who love themselves and who are not constantly trying to change themselves. People who don’t drain the life out of you. People who you are not trying to fix.
You are allowed to choose you. Even if that means getting out of relationships that were neutral for you. Choose the life you want. The life that betters you.