Holidays, Mental Recovery

Reasons Why New Years Resolutions Are Unhelpful

Hello, Lovely Warriors! I hope your Christmas was amazing and that you’re ready for the new year. I know I am super excited to start 2018 but also happy with all the progress I’ve made a 2017. This time of the year is hard for many people, and certain things especially during the New Year are triggering for someone in recovery.

So, I beg you to stay focused on you. Your health, mental and physical, is the only important thing. So when you log on to social media, or hear friends and family talking about New Years resolutions please remember this post. Remember what is important. What works.

There are many problems and issues with the idea of New Years resolutions. First off the most of them rarely come to fruition. We put so much pressure on ourselves to achieve these goals, and when we fail we beat ourselves up. This is an endless cycle and if you look at it, it brings you no joy. So I encourage you to try something new this year.

Find a mantra. A single saying to go into the new year with. Something to repeat again and again in your head when times are hard. When you are tired. One word, a small saying, a verse, a passage, anything that encourages you.

For example, the one I have chosen for myself this year is: Kind & Courageous.

I can apply this to every aspect of my life. To be kind to my body. My mind. Choose what honors my body and what feels good. To be kind to others, choose their wellbeing over being right in an argument. Be kind to everyone, choose to be selfless and serve others. Be courageous. Step out of my comfort zone and try something new. Do things that my future self will thank me for.

Now you stop for some minutes today and really thing about something you want to go into the new year with. Something that is not a goal. Something you can apply to your recovery. To be brave enough to take the steps in recovery, to try new things, to seek help, to start a selfceare routine maybe.

I know how difficult this week can be with people talking about their new diets and their new weight loss goals. It is so easy to get caught up in all this talk and want to cave back into unhealthy habits. But, the way I see it is as I continue to recover I continue to find freedom. I know how miserable diets and weight loss is, and in the end it is not consistent, no one can lose weight and keep it off majority of the time. And when we fail to reach our goals or if we mess up we feel so guilty and want to punish ourselves even more.

So, I encourage you to practice radical self love. To choose you. Not to get stuck where the rest of society is at in body image. But, to move past that. To find freedom from a number that a scale shows, to find freedom from food from your ED. Trust me your life will become the life you truly want.

I would much rather be happy and healthy than thin and miserable. Too often our society says that diets and weight loss brings happiness, when we know first hand the misery and guilt that comes from disordered eating. So with the new year choose not to make goals, but to make things that you strive for.

Don’t write down physical goals you want to reach. Write down mental goals. Goals that better your soul, you as a person. Write down things that grow your intellect your spiritual life.

Choose to be the person you want to be (not thin, and not the girl with the perfect body), but choose the you that brings life to others. The person who is beautiful from the inside and shines that beauty outwards.

So, Here is an example outline of how to set New Years intentions:

2018:

(7 areas of life to set intentions and hopes in) social, family, intellectual, financial, spiritual, physical, and career.

Social:

  • To go out more often with the people I love
  • To make new friends who encourage me in my recovery and love me for me
  • etc.

Family:

  • To be kinder to my family
  • Spend more time with my family
  • Be selfless with my family, thank my parents more, hug my siblings and grandparents
  • etc.

Intellectual:

  • Read more (self help books, classical books, christian books, etc.)
  • Study more with intention
  • Learn a new skill (play an instrument, improve handwriting, learn to code, start a blog, write more often, etc.)
  • etc.

Etc. 

Goals without plans are just dreams.

Remember that the new year is not about achieving simple goals, but about taking one mantra one creed into every area of your life. Remember your saying. Think about it in every action you do and word you say.

Ignore what culture tells you is a successful and good life. Choose your own route. Do what is right for you. Not what everyone else is saying to do and is saying makes you happy. You know what you like. You know what is good for you. And spending every day focusing on food and exercise is no way to live a life.

Choose the person you want to be, and go be it.

Love, Mack.

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