Cautious Recovery, christ in you, christian, Mental Recovery, New Start, Tips & Tricks

New Start: Changing Your Outlook To Have Healthy Relationships

Hey! I have been on a bit of a posting frenzy lately because I have not had school in so long it feels like. But with the new year it’s a new me, haha just kidding, but this new series is called a new start. And the point is to help you look at the new year as a new start for your recover and your life.

If you want to read more about new year resolutions/goals then check out my blog talking about that. I will be going more depth into the 7 things I talked about in the blog about how to set goals and where to work on things in your life.

So that being said, this blog will be about starting new relationships and not only that but starting over with relationships. In my opinion to do this it all starts in the mind. You have to work on a mind set change. I believe that you have the ability to change your outlook on relationships and some books that have helped me tremendously are: I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Redeeming the Feminine Soul, Girl Defined.

So I will be talking about relationships not only to help you in recovery, but in every area of your life. From a christian girl point of view I see how difficult it is to regulate all my emotions and to try and figure out which ones I should follow and which to wait on.

I encourage you to write down your goals in this area of your life. I personally have decided to keep God at the center of all my relationships. In male or female relationships I am trying to have a goal of God at the center of it. To grow in friendship before anything else.

A main goal for me is to choose friends wisely. I hope you do same especially in recovery. Do not be afraid to distance yourself from friends who have disorder eating or struggle with body image who may trigger your own disorder. It is okay to find new people and I know that is very hard to do, so you can look for people online (I am right here!).

Just be very careful who you start to befriend. Think about the person you are talking to and if that is someone who you admire or really like. I encourage you to find people who are godly and who you strive to have similar qualities. If you have no heard it before, you pick up the characteristics of those you hang around most.

So choose your friends wisely. Pick people who encourage you to love yourself no matter what you look like. People who love you for your intellectual self and your mental self instead of your physical body.

Another huge part of relationships to me is of course dating. I have chosen to distance myself from dating, mainly because I am in high school and I see dating as the precursor to marriage. So I know that I am no where near ready to marry then I know that dating is not in the cards for me right now.

I am still friends with people of the opposite sex and I still have crushes, but I am not trying to date intentionally. If God places someone in my life who I can see a future with than I will take things very slowly.

Singleness is truly a gift. Most of your life you may be married so I encourage you to enjoy single years. Take this time to not only care for yourself, but to focus on Gods plan for you and your life. There is so much more out there than dating around waiting for a guy who will love you and treat you well. Trust me God has the person out there for you.

At the same time He blesses us with our single years. So maybe your goal should be to intentionally take a year to be single. Focus on yourself self, your recovery, and what God wants for you to do this year for Him.

Love, Mack.

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