Hey, my wonderful warriors! So today I want to talk about a hot topic in the christian community, especially in youth groups. A lot of different things that pastors and youth leaders talk about surround purity, but a big part that some people can miss is singleness with purity.
Being pure is just a part of your singleness. And in our culture there are so many different and contradicting messages. The Bible is clear about what God says about purity and singleness but a lot of it is never talked about.
Our current culture tells us to not be single, and when we are single to be looking for a boy/girlfriend. We are told to look our best, to act our best, to be our best when we are single. Our culture says that when we are single we are supposed to be on the lookout for the “perfect” someone, we are not allowed to be single.
And even though some messages in our culture seem to contradict these at the core they are the same. It is popular to try to be independent now, and to not rely on a boy/girlfriend. We are supposed to not find our worth in others but ourselves. This has an outwardly positive message, but at the core it still opposes what God says about our singleness.
While the previous view seems to be almost biblical, it is missing the main piece: God. God is the focus of our singleness. It is not us. It is not selfish desires, or just taking “me time”, our single years were created by God to get our hearts in the right place.
We have the time before marriage, yes to work on ourselves, but what that means in biblical terms is to work on our spiritual life. God gives us whatever alotted time to be single (which can be your entire life), and He does this specifically knowing what is best for us.
We have our single years to grow closer to God. He knows that if we were in a relationship instead of helping us and Him, it would hurt us and cause unnecessary pain. Something that I have really felt God tell me about my single years is it is not only protecting me, but he is protecting the person I may want to pursue.
We have to be careful with our flirting and the ways we get crushes so fast. Because we may be harming our brothers or sisters in Christ when we start to focus on our own emotions instead off on what God wants for us.
He gives us single years to grow in our relationship with Him. Just think about all the free time you have to volunteer, to go on mission trips, to read the word, to create relationships, to advance Gods Kingdom. We have so much time when we are single because we are not focused on another person or meeting another persons needs, we are focused on God alone and His plan for our lives.
I realize how much time I have now to truly be committed to God and His plans. Something that I have heard and watched about this from YouTube and podcasts that has helped me a lot is this saying:
“What the Devil can’t destroy, He’ll distract”
I mean wow. That is mind blowing. Atleast to me (haha). This is what the constant in and out of relationships is. This is the Devils work. The constant anxiety and stress surrounded around relationships and singleness is the Devil constantly distracting good and faithful servants of Christ.
So many christians, especially youth, fall into this trap. Into the looking for the perfect spouse that God pre-destined for them, or even just trying out different relationships to see what “works best” for them.
The Devil is actively distracting christians from a purpose that is good and holy and chosen by God. When we spend so much time worrying about crushes and relationships we spend less and less time with God.
It is imperative for our christian youth to be vigilant. To have a revival of faith and purity. To truly be focusing on God instead of on the perfect christian boy (who may or may not like them back). There is no happy ending with pursuing relationships without God at the center.
Another important part of your singleness is to know when to even start thinking about relationships. I mean if you’re in high school why would you even date when you are no where near ready to be married or in a serious relationship.
If we are truly dating to marry, then we should only date when we are ready to marry.
If we truly have faith in God to show is our future spouse, then we should have faith enough not to look for them with human objectives, but to let God show us that person in his perfect timing.
I hope this may have helped someone who is struggling through their single years and is craving a relationship. Gods plan is so much better than anything we could ever imagine. We just have to have faith enough to trust Him and to lean on Him when we are craving love.
After all the greatest love story ever written, was Gods love for us.